A rare second post on the same day appears!  I just have to get this one out there while the spark of inspiration is there.  In addition to maintaining this space, I keep a journal of sorts on a support group forum for folks trying to get past gaming as I have recommitted myself to doing lately.  It’s not perfect by far, but the resources and community are a great resource.  Anyway, I was updating the journal over there since I had gotten a comment or two since the last time I posted - even though they suggest a “daily” journal, I don’t post there anywhere near the same amount as I write on here.  Just how it is, I guess.

I forget where exactly I read it, but someone wrote that, in short, walking is a series of falling forward and catching yourself every time, without noticing it.  The commenter on my journal thread put it another way.  All it takes is one small step to get started.  One becomes two.  Two becomes four.  Y’all know how it goes.

Does that sound familiar at all?!

I’ve used the same sort of slippery slope idea in talking about how I’ve fallen back into spending way too much time gaming three times over the last 18 months or so.  One brief game is okay, or so my brain tells itself.

Except then…

One becomes two.  Two become four.  And before you know it I’m pulling another godforsaken all-nighter to get done the bare minimum of what I needed to do for class, never mind anything else more fulfilling.  All it took was that one small step and I was royally screwed.

Those of y’all who read my post over the weekend know that it was a bit rough, to put it lightly.  The urge to escape into a game was a strong one, and yet I prevailed.  Somehow, over the past 18 days I’ve built up a degree of inertia by sheer willpower.  A vow that I had slid backward for the last time.

How can I turn this around on itself?  How can I turn this urge to game into the urge to program, or to mix a new song, or write my novel, or make dank memes  Okay, maybe not that last one.  You get the point, though, right?  Instead of treading water via the sheer inertia and desire to not waste my time gaming again, how can I take it in a more positive direction?

How can I hack my brain to where I can draw upon that spark to get out of the default idle state and get in motion toward my dreams, my goals, my vision?  Every now and then I have a dream where in ten years’ time I’ve become so successful that I’ve made Elon Musk look like he’s running a lemonade stand by comparison.  The me in that dream is beyond driven, beyond anything I could possibly imagine myself being today or at any time in my past.  It’s like I’ve got a laser-like focus on what I want to achieve and God help you if you get in my way.  How do I get to that?